Natalie Shobana Ambrose March 23, 2008 (The Sunday Star)
WHEN I think about “progressive” Malaysia, I also wonder as a people how have we progressed? Personally, I am proud that we have an F1 circuit, gone to space and the North Pole, work in state-of-the-art buildings, all contributing points to the development of our nation.
But as we take huge leaps forward, I can’t help but wonder how far behind we are when it comes to respect - the respect of women - regardless of their age, race, education, background and standing in society.
I was recently in India and I repeatedly came across the phrase “No Eve-teasing” – an Indian euphemism that encompasses everything from sexual harassment, cat-calls, whispered obscenities, groping, brushing and pestering.
To some, this is not a positive introduction to the nation, but I thought that it was a huge step in acknowledging the need to educate the men in the country and foreigners alike.
Like in Malaysia, Eve-teasing was a common pastime among the men folk of that country. There have been many incidents in India, just like in Malaysia, where women are degraded and teased, raped, and molested.
But the difference is that in India, Eve-teasing is recognised as a criminal activity punishable under the law. As we brag of being a progressive nation, shedding the cloth of the second world, do we have such laws to protect our women?
One evening when it was dark, I briskly walked the streets of Chennai with two other Malaysian women to look for a tailor. I clutched my handbag so tightly and made no eye contact with people on the streets, something that is so ingrained in me when I’m back home in Malaysia.
Of course I’d never walk the streets of Kuala Lumpur at night in search of a tailor. That’ll just be “asking for it,” I’ve been told. But what I realised after walking a few blocks was that there was a sense of peace.
People weren’t ogling and staring.
They didn’t blink an eye and there was not a single catcall or whistle. It felt weird. But why should I have felt that way?
Have I gotten so used to being insulted in my own country and that it has become the norm?
In another incident whilst in India, on New Year’s eve two women who were accompanied by male partners were taunted and molested outside a nightclub by a group of rowdy men on the streets of Mumbai.
The women didn’t file a complaint. But the next day photos of the incident and perpetrators were splashed on the front page of newspapers and on TV, followed by a public outcry and the perpetrators were caught.
Would any man dare Eve-tease with consequences like that?
In many ways, India might not be as developed as Malaysia but there are definitely lessons we can learn from them.
Some may think I’m making a fuss over something that we don’t talk about because it is so much a part of our culture. But it is not just about being teased.
The act itself is a stripping of my dignity; it is being made to feel like a piece of meat in a lion’s den, it is the lack of respect, a violation of my basic human rights.
The deliberate brush or push in the LRT, the catcalls and honking of horns is power play – a deliberate act to show superiority.
As the perpetrator is almost never met with a defence, he continues for there is no fear of reciprocation as the victim being humiliated has to pretend that she is not affected even though she is raging inside.
NATALIE SHOBANA AMBROSE,Kuala Lumpur.
