“SHUT UP or I’ll knock your heads together” was a common phrase I used to hear growing up. Loud arguing children can be hard on the nerves especially when there are a million other things that deserve one’s attention besides exasperating little people.
Children can be quite adamant if they want to. I was once in a car with a screaming child who refused to listen to any reasoning until he got his way. But he didn’t and so after a lot of ear-piercing pitches, he finally ran out of the car, red faced from all that used up energy.
It was not a pleasant performance but forgivable because he’s just a kid, so he is only now learning to negotiate and understand the lesson that we don’t always get our way.
It isn’t an easy lesson to learn. In fact, it is a very difficult lesson that many adults like myself struggle with. It’s frustrating and it interferes with my “perfect” plans.
Sometimes when I think I deserve something and don’t get it, frustration seeps in. But who’s to say that I deserved it in the first place?
Maybe it’s too much world politics that has made me arrogant in thinking that the world should revolve around my wants and what I think I deserve. Because that’s how a lot of politicians behave. Very few seem to care about the people that they are called to serve.
Most times they seem to be locking heads with whomever is not giving in to them. Everyone has to follow suit and be agreeable. If not out you go. And sometimes it’s not just out you go, but more of a “I’m going to destroy you” attitude and character assassinate to a pulp. Ruling, opposition or independent all seem to follow this mantra of politicking.
Margaret Thacher when in office said, “I love argument, I love debate. I don’t expect anyone just to sit there and agree with me, that’s not their job.”
How many of us would say this? And how many politicians adopt this understanding of healthy discourse. So instead of listening to what the other person has to say – all that seems to happen is an “I’ll close my ears till you stop talking.”
Nothing then gets resolved except for both sides wanting their own way.
It reminds me of the Malay proverb “Gajah sama gajah bergaduh, pelanduk mati ditengah-tengah”. While the two large elephants are fighting, the little mouse deer in the middle might end up being trampled on.
This scene seems similar to what’s happening in many parts of our country. Everyone has opinions on the situation. What the two elephants don’t seem to realise is that the people are watching, analysing and formulating opinions on the characters of the two locking horns.
One positive thing is the realisation that it is important to have rules, to follow rules and the importance of the constitution. Sadly, most Malaysians know more about America’s Constitution than our own, all thanks to television and no thanks to the lack of teaching of the Malaysian Constitution in our schools.
So, everyone’s got their own interpretation but not many have actually read it.And while all the hullabaloo is going on, the little mouse deer is neglected hoping that the elephants sort themselves out.
It seems like the only thing that’s going to work is a total overhaul. It seems impossible but nothing is impossible.
I’m glad I’ve accepted the truth that the world does not revolve around me though I must say, I do lapse into self-centredness occasionally. There will always be undesirable things, people, opinions and situations in life, politics being one of them.
Perhaps what will make us feel better is if we change our point of view and look at things from a different angle and repeat these words, “The world does not revolve around me.” If not, one day our heads will be knocked together and what good would that be?
Natalie would love a day of sunshine, green lights, no potholes, all her favourite food, agreeable people and happy news in the papers.
Comment: letters@thesundaily.com
