Natalie Shobana Ambrose (9 October, 2008 - theSun)
Not too long ago, I was introduced to a Japanese dish called Okonomiyaki. Just the name makes me love this dish, especially when saying it fast with an elongated ending. I bet you just tried saying it didn’t you? It does have a ring to it, you’ve got to admit
Okonomiyaki reminds me of, Malaysia. Not that we are an omelette filled with gastronomic surprises like octopus, cabbage, squid and everything else but that we are a mixture of everything- from race, culture, traditions, food and taboos. And with such a mixture comes certain sensitivities- things we just don’t do because it offends. And that list can be pretty long. But we observe it anyway to keep the peace.
But what I’ve noticed about Malaysia is that we are so consumed by race. When we meet a new face, who doesn’t fit into the three races represented by the ruling party, we end up more consumed with what mixture they are, then who they are or what they have to say. Or when a friend relates a traffic accident, the immediate question is not what colour the cars were but what race the person who caused the accident was. So that we have a clear mental picture of this incident in full colour!
A friend of mine had begun a relationship with an expatriate. Compatible in every way and over the moon consumed by love, a daunting question that recurred was that the expatriate partner was not of the same ethnic make-up. And it bothered my friend. What was sad about this is that if they were living in a not-so-ethnocentric country, it wouldn’t even be a problem.
I felt as if I was in a time warp. It almost seemed like we were talking about America during the slavery years and the taboo of mixed marriages back in the day. But this conversation happened right here in multicultural, multiethnic Malaysia in 2008.
In another incident, my kindergarten- going niece came home gleefully announcing that she had a boyfriend. Of course my curious family wanted to know which race box the young man fit in. So the question was asked, “What is he?” And she pondered, smiled and said, “He’s peach coloured!”
Cute as it may be, it just showed how important the colour of one’s skin is in today’s Malaysia
A classmate once said that polite conversation steers clear of race, religion and politics. But what else is more current in Malaysia?
Politeness in Malaysia means varied things, from taking our shoes off before entering a home, to a little bow as we walk through a conversation. Each race, culture and religion has its own set of do’s and don’ts. Respect our elders, another’s difference and embrace other cultures. It’s part of our culture, indoctrinated in us from the time we were young.
I’m sure like many others, we’ve all been brushed by a rude person or perhaps even been rude ourselves. It is said that positive attributes like good manners, civility, respect, graciousness all begin at home. But so does discrimination, racism, prejudice, intolerance, bigotry and insolence.
No matter how many laws we have or race-relations acts enacted, it doesn’t change the attitude of each one of us, unless we truly believe in the good in others. I’m guilty of limiting people to the colour of their skin based on my prejudices. But just as I abhor being discriminated, I too have to be less prejudiced . After all we can change our minds, but we can’t change our colour… unless you’re Michael Jackson!
We all have our prejudices of the various races- and what they are known for. The crimes, bad habits, social ills. But it doesn’t mean that all in that race are the same and we can all learn from each other regardless of race.
Okonomiyaki reminds me of, Malaysia. Not that we are an omelette filled with gastronomic surprises like octopus, cabbage, squid and everything else but that we are a mixture of everything- from race, culture, traditions, food and taboos. And with such a mixture comes certain sensitivities- things we just don’t do because it offends. And that list can be pretty long. But we observe it anyway to keep the peace.
But what I’ve noticed about Malaysia is that we are so consumed by race. When we meet a new face, who doesn’t fit into the three races represented by the ruling party, we end up more consumed with what mixture they are, then who they are or what they have to say. Or when a friend relates a traffic accident, the immediate question is not what colour the cars were but what race the person who caused the accident was. So that we have a clear mental picture of this incident in full colour!
A friend of mine had begun a relationship with an expatriate. Compatible in every way and over the moon consumed by love, a daunting question that recurred was that the expatriate partner was not of the same ethnic make-up. And it bothered my friend. What was sad about this is that if they were living in a not-so-ethnocentric country, it wouldn’t even be a problem.
I felt as if I was in a time warp. It almost seemed like we were talking about America during the slavery years and the taboo of mixed marriages back in the day. But this conversation happened right here in multicultural, multiethnic Malaysia in 2008.
In another incident, my kindergarten- going niece came home gleefully announcing that she had a boyfriend. Of course my curious family wanted to know which race box the young man fit in. So the question was asked, “What is he?” And she pondered, smiled and said, “He’s peach coloured!”
Cute as it may be, it just showed how important the colour of one’s skin is in today’s Malaysia
A classmate once said that polite conversation steers clear of race, religion and politics. But what else is more current in Malaysia?
Politeness in Malaysia means varied things, from taking our shoes off before entering a home, to a little bow as we walk through a conversation. Each race, culture and religion has its own set of do’s and don’ts. Respect our elders, another’s difference and embrace other cultures. It’s part of our culture, indoctrinated in us from the time we were young.
I’m sure like many others, we’ve all been brushed by a rude person or perhaps even been rude ourselves. It is said that positive attributes like good manners, civility, respect, graciousness all begin at home. But so does discrimination, racism, prejudice, intolerance, bigotry and insolence.
No matter how many laws we have or race-relations acts enacted, it doesn’t change the attitude of each one of us, unless we truly believe in the good in others. I’m guilty of limiting people to the colour of their skin based on my prejudices. But just as I abhor being discriminated, I too have to be less prejudiced . After all we can change our minds, but we can’t change our colour… unless you’re Michael Jackson!
We all have our prejudices of the various races- and what they are known for. The crimes, bad habits, social ills. But it doesn’t mean that all in that race are the same and we can all learn from each other regardless of race.
On the surface, we may be polite because we’ve mastered the art of polite racism with our prejudices. But sometimes we aren’t even polite about it.
Natalie hopes if the Race Relations Act comes to pass that it would not be another law to discriminate instead, prevent discrimination.
Comment: letters@thesundaily.com.
