Who Would Have Thought?

Natalie Shobana Ambrose (31st December, 2009 –theSun)

This time last year I was cleaning out my closet and getting ready to usher in 2009. Michael Jackson and Yazmin Ahmad were still with us, Perak seemed like a peaceful state, PKFZ was a mere alphabet jumble to me, by-elections didn’t happen every other month, being a political aide wouldn’t make insurance companies blink twice and increase their premium, cow heads were never seen in the city, models took their place on the catwalk and not headlines, fighter jet engines were not a concern, MCA was very organised and didn’t contribute to day-time soap operas scripts, it was safe to sleep in the nude without photos being taken and circulated, Balinese mansions were generally native to Bali and not Selangor, black t-shirts had a slimming effect and wasn’t a warrant to be arrested, bridges were safe to cross and I didn’t think twice if a stadium roof was going to collapse on me, Bahasa Malaysia and English were languages Malaysians speak that didn’t cause major protests, massive traffic jams and parliament debates, famous people didn’t just go missing, especially prime suspects, while one was a number and not a slogan for everything Malaysian.

I bet we all didn’t think that 2009 would be what it turned out to be, this time last year. For better or worse it was definitely a year that pushed a lot of emotional buttons especially for our country.

Though for me besides that feeling of disappointment, a prominent theme that runs through 2009 is one of loss - a loss of integrity and a loss of truth.

Short of sounding like broken record, 2010 looks politically grey. It feels as if the past week of winding down does not mark a week of reflection and ponder but rather a week of rest before another year of fighting.

In all that has happened in 2009 for Malaysia, nothing has been resolved.

If anything there has been a lot of vehement denial even when the facts are staring us in the face. The more that is swept under the carpet only adds ammunition towards the credibility of fundamental institutions like the judiciary and anti-corruptions agencies leading to more finger pointing at those who are seen to pull their strings.

Losing credibility is a serious offence to the people and loosing integrity far more detrimental to any leadership.

If anyone at this present time reaping the effects of the loss of credibility and integrity- it’s Tiger Woods. Lucky for him, he’s actually the world’s best golfer - but in the case of Malaysia, we might not be as lucky.

Integrity isn’t something that changes with the wind; its essence is consistency which is severely lacking in our world and immediately in our country. It’s not just political parties who lack it, all of us do.

Though, for every Ringgit lost and pocketed from the PKFZ scandal, missing fighter-get engines, money transfers, convention centres, and the multiple disgraces the AG’s report sheds light on- the average citizen looses, not only in tax ringgit but in a better future.

It’s New Year’s eve today and if anything we should take some time to ponder, wonder and remember what has happened, what is happening and what we’d like to see happen – not just for ourselves but as a nation and as a people.

I know I want the truth concerning the unresolved issues before they become another dust bunny under the carpet. Denying and pretending these incidences didn’t happen, or erasing records and brushing it off as hearsay does not mean it didn’t happen.

The fact remains that with all these unsolved mysteries – some things are true whether you believe them or not.

There is always a Sherlock Holmes waiting to uncover the truth no matter how repressed the media is – the truth does find its way out.

I hope 2010 doesn’t mean that the skeletons of 2009 are not addressed, though I also hope we can say good riddance to bad rubbish and move on to a better year ahead.

Here’s to 2010!


Natalie hopes and prays that things will get better for our country and wishes everyone Happy New Year!
Comments: letters@thesundaily.com

The Glue That Holds Us Together

Natalie Shobana Ambrose (17th December, 2009 –theSun)

More than ever our skin colour and prejudices seem to get the better of us. The media slips up in many ways portraying wrong images or rather allowing for racist comments to be published inciting hate, discrimination and fuelling prejudice.

It makes me sad to see this happen because for me and the Malaysians I know, our friendships go past colour lines and lean towards what we share in common.

I’d like you to meet some of my friends and decide for yourself if it’s wise to allow race to separate us from the values of humanity and what living in harmony means to you.

Fida and I have been friends for years. We met at our first job and we’ve been friends ever since. At first we thought we had nothing in common, she wore a baju kurung to work everyday and I spoke English with a twang. Last year, I spent Christmas day admiring her bridal outfit and watching her future husband recite the ‘lafaz akad nikah’ in one breath as I sat with my head covered at their local mosque.

Isabelle and I spent quite a few afternoons writing on the blackboard in Standard Two because we were slow. We have shared bosses and music teachers. On occasion I’ve received an ang pow from her parents. We’ve spent hours talking about our dogs, work, teachers we hated and wedding dress shopping.

Helina and I go way back. In fact out parents go way back. We have shared many laughs, cries, dances, travels and I’ve had many curry meals at her house with her family. We find it hard to stop talking and our goodbyes last a long time.

Then there’s the school bunch. We buka puasa at times and are in one another’s houses for the many festivals we celebrate between us.

I also have Yen Ning who has walked with me since I was 9. These days we spend time getting her little girl to smile at Aunty Nat.

Loo and I studied French in college. He’s had more banana leaf meals than I have and I more double boiled soups than he. We talk about culture, film, life and our never ending university lives.

Michelle and I met when we were 13. I love her Mum’s Portuguese cooking at Christmas time and our online chats since we’re time-zones apart.

EveKun gives me advice from Deepak Chopra and when she visits we have a blast at the kopitiam. While Sanjeev and I enjoy Dim Sum when he’s in town.

And then the two best friends who welcome me with great advice and a kick when I need it over a roti canai- Yoga and Shumita.

Ash is always up for Japanese anytime and when she calls my phone screams “Konichiwa”. The only thing Japanese about Ash is she knows where the good sushi is.

I stand out like a sore thumb Sunday mornings with another group I consider family. We laugh, sing and play with water balloons not minding our differences.

Who can forget the UN-bunch. One mixed pot of people, Anu, G, Bri, Rah, Sheila, Shree, all curry babies except for Daniel the German who very soon was christened Deepak. We had and still have so much fun when we meet.

Are we loud?

Yes we are. Just as Fida, Isabelle, Lina, the school bunch, Yen Ning, Loo, Michelle, EveKun, Sanjeev, Yoga, Shumita, Ash and I are when we meet. That’s who we are. Good friends having fun.

Malaysia is what we have in common. I couldn’t separate my friends by race because our socialisation and upbringing is want connects us rather than the colour of our skin. We have more in common because we relate to each other on a human level and share similar values and not similar skin tones.

My muhibah story is not unique though it seems to be something that we soon will only see in television advertisements if those in authority, institutions and the media are allowed to continue intravenously feeding prejudices to those who blindly follow.

There is no place in the world for blatant racism in the name of unity. Or the constant talk about race, forums and lectures about intruders and separation by ethnicity.

If anything, we need to realise that living peacefully together is an investment for the future.

The heart of the matter is that we are all Malaysians, and the more we allow for a lack of understanding to breed, the further away we move from unity and harmony.



Natalie’s friends come in different shapes, age and sizes and she loves them all to bits because they know too many of her secrets!
Comments: letters@thesundaily.com

Quit Mooching Off The Country

Natalie Shobana Ambrose (3rd December, 2009 - theSun)

There’s a new dictionary I refer to aside from the usual list. It’s called the Urban Dictionary. It’s not a dictionary that one usually quotes from but I find this contemporary archive of slang very useful for the ‘aged’ and not so ‘clued-in’ people like me.

My latest search was after a conversation about people who “mooch”.

There are twelve definitions for the word mooch (verb) listed, each capturing an aspect of the word- as most definitions do. The one that best describes a moocher (noun) for purposes of this article, is someone who leeches on or sponges off, trying to get something for nothing even though they have means.

I’m not sure about you, but I’ve met and have a few moochers in my life. After a period of being taken advantage of, I tend to breed feelings of indifference, get fed up with this personality flaw and have a very low tolerance level towards the moocher.

It’s not a nice thing to have to deal with I must say, unless you don’t mind being mooched off. I personally am not a fan.

Sometimes, it’s how one deals with the situation that encourages mooching too. Perhaps I’m enabling people to mooch off me because I don’t have the guts to tell them otherwise.

But sometimes there is no way of telling them to stop without ruining the relationship. But soon resentment sets in and then it goes downhill.

So how do you stop a moocher as big as corruption? I’m not sure.

For a country rich in natural resources, we have not shown to be good custodians of what we’ve been blessed with. How can all that money have gone with little uplifting the people?

According to Transparency International’s 2009 Global Barometer Index political parties are perceived to be most affected by corruption in Malaysia. Oddly enough, we are aware.

67 % assessed the current government’s efforts to fight corruption as ineffective. Perhaps the PKFZ issue got to those surveyed or the idea of implementing GST.

On top of all the money siphoned from going towards housing for the poor, basic amenities, education, correcting social injustices, improving the plight of the rakyat we’ve been mooched off to line the pockets of people who already have the means to live well and are lapping up the luxuries.

What is most confusing about the whole GST talk is that the government is getting its financial advice from American financiers- did we just sleep though the recent-current economic crisis?

And what are the measures in place to address money lost in the last year or two, not to mention years gone before we can allow more mooching to take place.

There’s an integrity deficit.

How is it that there are still those living in abject poverty in Malaysia? Where orphanages, old folks homes, centres for those in need and of need struggle to get funds or have to be funded by private businesses and private donations. Why are there so many “volunteers” burdening the public for donations in supermarkets, mamak stalls and near ATM machines?

Instead of unwillingly donating towards holiday homes, lavish meals and Balinese styled mansions, we should do something to stop our pockets from being picked.

I for one am not convinced that my best interest is at the heart of those who manage the wealth of the country.

Safeguarding the interest of the people is not mere lip service, more needs to be done. Don’t allow these injustices to continue and don’t tell the people to tighten their belts when they don’t have enough each day.

Giving away money at elections and during festivals to the poor is not giving back to the public. If anything it just shows how trivial the plight of the marginalized is to those in power.

We have enough convention centres and stadiums that costs millions and remain white elephants, what we need is for public funds to be accounted for and for the mooching to stop.

All in favour say Aye!

Natalie holds an anti-moocher placard in protest.
Comments: letters@ thesundaily.com

Lest We Forget

Natalie Shobana Ambrose (19th November, 2009 - theSun)

Overwhelmed from the excitement of a new addition to the family, a little 3 year old pulled a blank stare when asked what the baby’s name was. A few seconds later, the little girl dramatically slapped her forehead, frowned and said “Haiyoh, I’m such an old lady, I forgot!” I wanted to burst our laughing at this tiny little young thing who was obviously having a senior moment.

Forgetting is a very common thing that sometimes is assumed comes with age. My 91 year old grandmother always tells me that she’s old and forgetting things, and I sheepishly say to her that I too forget things very often. And after this little girl’s exclamation I’m convinced forgetting is not age or race biased and definitely not discriminate of social standing or political sway.

In saying that though, I’ve noticed in certain situations and professions, forgetting is a part of the requirements, it provides a good alibi, a great excuse, a big full stop, a fine reason and sometimes even part of policy. It’s a good way to end an argument, after all how does one argue with “I can’t remember?” or “I forgot”. It’s pretty darn hard to do.

Forgetting is all the rage these days in the political scene - a sudden memory lapse or amnesia of sorts and before you know it, even the people have forgotten. Sometimes it’s not forgotten, just hidden. Perhaps you’ve noticed that there is an unwritten list of things that we are not to address, discuss, bring up, blog or write about, and most definitely print?

It seems there are so many matters that get filed under classified information that we are not to question or speak about let alone be informed about. But what is it you ask? Sorry but I’m not at liberty to say because I myself don’t really know.

It’s classified remember, though the recent news of past classified Selangor land deals supposedly benefiting lower income groups has left most people with a yucky aftertaste upon declassification. But the ones that made the deals are all mum about it. Did they forget about the deals? Or did we forget? I’m sure the people of Bukit Botak didn’t forget.

I must say, forgetting doesn’t mean that it didn’t happen. It just means that one person forgot or a cluster of like-minded people forgot. It doesn’t mean everyone forgot. We can’t all forget events, facts, situations at the same time, though sometimes I do believe in ‘out of sight out of mind’. So if you’re not allowed to print, talk or even think about it, eventually it gets forgotten.

But the human mind is a complex mass that never really forgets. All it takes is one little thing, a smell, situation, song, person or word to jog your memory.

So what have we forgotten and how do we improve our memory to ensure we don’t forget again?

Perhaps you’ve played the game of recall. I’ll call out a word and you tell me what comes to mind. Lets play that and perhaps words like September 16, jumping ship, cow head, private investigator, tree assembly, Port Klang, foreign workers, political aide, March 8th, Royal Commission, protests, AG’s report, judge-fixing, police lock- up, submarines, corruption, Kamunting, might jog your memory.

Do you remember? I hope you do because we need to remember. We need to remember what we’ve been put through, we need to remember what’s been taken away from us as a nation and we need to remember what has happened so that we don’t make the same mistakes we did by forgetting and keeping quiet.

At a time where people around the world are wearing red poppy pins, the banner “Lest We Forget” resonates here at home. Lest we forget what has happened, lest we forget why so many have sacrificed their lives, fought for justice, peace, unity for a country they love - a country you and I love and call home.

The next time we sing the words Negaraku let us not forget what we are fighting for and let us have the courage to remember.

Natalie has just finished a box of blueberries because she read that blueberries help improve memory.

Comments: letters@thesundaily.com

One But Not The Same

Natalie Shobana Ambrose (5th November, 2009 - theSun)

One is a very powerful word though sometimes confusing because it can mean similar things on opposite sides of the spectrum- such as being united as one group or being number one in a group.

Part of the 1Malaysia concept are catch phrases that that have been repeated and one in particular about how all Malaysians have a place under the Malaysian sun.

When I first heard this statement I thought, that is a great concept. It’s worthy of a cheer or applause at the pause of a speech. It’s got a warm fuzzy feeling to it – we all have a place, we all have a function, we all belong- we are all equal.

Though having a place under the Malaysian sun doesn’t really mean we are all equal. It just means that we have a place, and I wonder what place that might be.

Your place might be in a lofty multimillion Ringgit apartment in the centre of Kuala Lumpur with views of massive traffic jams, the twin towers and shopping expeditions around the world, while another’s might be in a squatter next to a rubbish dump or a Malaysian suburb where foreign workers are paid to sit watch so you feel safe from thieves under the Malaysian sun.

For some, their Malaysian sun spot would be working a few jobs to make a decent living and for someone like Marina Undau, who scored 8A’s in the Sijil Pelajaran Menengah (SPM) exams having a place under the Malaysian sun means that she is not allowed a place at matriculation because of her mixed parentage, Sarawakian heritage and some official definition which does not considered her a native.

This one concept can be very confusing. Sometimes when I hear it being said or chanted I wonder if the concept that’s supposed to unite is a little schizophrenic.

How can being united and equal by definition mean that groups of people are blatantly discriminated by race? Or that a quota system is implemented in the name of equality?

Maybe the word one is confusing for some because though we might say we are one, the reality is that we are not the same and our differences need to be emphasized.

When the 1Malaysia fund was released a few months ago, I thought it was a great step forward. We would all be able to invest if we could. Then I read about how the fund had a 50-30-15-5 allotment based on race. Applause killed.

How united is this fund or its returns if your purchasing power is based on race. Imagine going to the bank to invest only to be told that though the fund is still open, they can’t sell you any because the allotment for your race has been taken up as you fall into the 5% that is so appropriately defined as ‘others’ in a one nation.

A recent news report stated that there are 20,000 Malaysians illegally staying in the UK. A more worrying statement was a quote from the Malaysian authority who thought it was necessary to present a break down of illegal overstayers based on race “98% are from the Chinese community and the rest are Indians and other ethnic groups and a small number of Malays”.

Perhaps what was meant to be a shame-on-you-finger-wagging-reprimand only proved that the concept of being one and equal does not exist under the Malaysian sun and perhaps that is why 20,000 Malaysians would rather live as illegals than come home.

I’m not in support of them but surely this tells us that going past the sentiments of 1Malaysia the reality is that rules in place don’t allow for Malaysia to be one.

It is hard to reconcile this concept of being one when 20,000 Bibles were recently seized because authorities are in business of copywriting words that have been used for generations according to CNN.

Affirmative action and the concept of a one nation don’t go together because all it means is that in word we are one, but we’re not treated the same under the Malaysian sun.


Natalie thanks U2 for the title of this article and their song “One” which is on repeat.
Comments: letters@thesundaily.com

Show Me The Money

Natalie Shobana Ambrose (22nd October, 2009 - theSun)

Balance sheets and cash flow documents used to frustrate me. I don’t just want to balance them, I want a surplus. A little extra for that rainy day or pretty shoes I’ve been visiting at the mall. It just seems safer.

When learning accounts in secondary school, it used to unsettle me when there was a deficit – even though it was just an exercise in simple accounting, the lesson was a little bigger. "How can you spend money you don’t have?"

Of course once I got my first credit card, I quickly realised how easy it is to spend money you don’t have, and how easy it was to buy on credit and to live off credit. Especially when credit is so easy to come by, that we even have modern day Ah Longs at supermarkets haggling at us with instant credit cards.

In many more affluent countries, surveys have shown that people live off credit and countries live on deficits instead of a healthy surplus.

Simple economics will tell you that if we ignore the deficit, public spending will soon have to be cut, and our taxes raised. A deficit in today’s economy does not drop in 10 years, it only increases with interest and inflation.

I feel like I give a lot more money to the government than I get back in services. And even though the Internal Revenue Board staff are the friendliest and most patient among government officers, it doesn’t make giving money away to the government any easier.

But I believe in giving to Caesar what is his, so I grudgingly part with my money.

But on days when I read the Auditor-General’s report in the paper, I get really upset. Last year’s report stated that RM537.04 million of government money was spent on some American-based Columbia Aircraft Manufacturing Corporation and only RM25 million was recovered after the company went bust.

Over RM500 million lost.

I can’t help but to wonder that a tiny fraction of that RM500 million could be my income tax contribution or perhaps yours. My hard-earned money lost just like that. Is there an end to the story? I’m not sure, because nothing has been reported about it, or maybe we’ve forgotten.

But how can we when you and I know that this economic crisis is affecting all of us? And we cannot afford for our money to evaporate because our currency has still not recovered from the 1997 economic crisis.

This year, we might have a RM1.14 billion loss according to the latest A-G’s report thanks to a railway line and mismanagement. Yes that’s a lot of zeros. Zeros in the way things were handled and probably will be handled. And zero in the surplus fund we so desperately need.

You know the saying, money doesn’t grow on trees, apparently even though our money is now made of plastic, it seems to be decomposing faster in the hands of the decision-makers.

At the end of the day, if a bigger deficit is what we have to look forward to while money gets "lost" in oblivion, does it still mean that the people’s interest are important and achievements of the country put first?

Saying that you’re working on reducing a deficit in the wake of outright mismanagement does not create a sense of security and assurance that we as a country are safe and comfortable – far from it. It makes me hold my breath and hope that this too shall pass.

It’s a simple balance sheet that doesn’t get balanced. Releasing two stimulus packages in the interest of the people, and at the same time doing a David Copperfield with millions does not equate to preventing an economic crisis from affecting us again.

Cuba Gooding Jr in the movie Jerry McGuire won an Oscar for yelling at his agent to show him the money. So with the government as our agent of taxpayers’ money, and the Budget being announced tomorrow, maybe we should be shouting "Show me the money!" Hopefully we get some answers, better services and hopefully instead of money disappearing, the deficit disappears.

Natalie does visit shoes and other stuff on her wish list until the budget can afford them.
Comment: letters@thesundaily.com

Flirting With Disaster

Natalie Shobana Ambrose (8th October, 2009 -theSun)

You’ll probably laugh, but my first thought was “it’s a possum?”

The night before I was told how vicious possum get when they think humans are going to attack them. Who can blame them? Just across the ocean they are protected and in New Zealand- they are a pest and good as road kill. So what was I doing in bed with a possum underneath it?

Well, it was not a possum but an earthquake that shook everything including the bed, and yes I was on the bed worried, when I should have been under a door post. Who would have known?

After all, we don’t have earthquakes –our neighbours do.

It worries me to think that most of us would not know what to do if an earthquake occurred. And if it did, what would the search and rescue team look like? Admittedly we are able to provide some help to Indonesia, but how would we fare if it was more than just tremors that we felt here at home.

We’ve been protected thus far from earthquakes and typhoons but not so much from floods and landslides. Torrential rains have in the past destroyed crops, power lines, cutting of roads and rail services.

However, most of our disasters seem more man-made than natural. Mudslides from heavy logging and clearing of trees for homes and businesses are a testament to our naivety of taking care of our environment.

Though there has been an obvious change in the environment with El Nino and La Nina we tend to be complacent about weather change and how we have contributed to it. It’s often heard that Cameron Highlands or Genting Highlands is not as cold as it used to be but do we go further to want to know why and perhaps what we can do about it?

It’s impossible to change the weather. Yes, but not impossible to recycle, and to minimize our waste. To decide to truly conserve what is left of our rainforest instead of giving out licenses to destroy it.

The ‘in’ thing now around the country is to go green. Say no to plastic and bring your own bags. But what about the packaging of the food in our supermarkets and our lunch-time ‘tau pau’?

Styrofoam saucers and cling foil to wrap our organically grown tomatoes, pesticide perfect capsicum and yummy economy rice. Surely all this waste contributes to the deterioration of our environment.

Sometimes we might also think, what’s the use of recycling or minimizing my carbon footprint?

Why should I put in extra effort when others are blatantly emitting more waste?

It doesn’t matter- I won’t be here anyway when things get worse. It’s our common human thinking of I’ll-be-gone and you’ll-be-gone-before-you-know-it.

The same mentality that caused the financial crisis and the same mentality that has caused the hole in the ozone layer, global warming and the same complacency in our mentality when planning for the future.

It has a hint of corruption because it’s about robbing someone else for our own gain. And we’re robbing the future.

A few months ago we all turned off our lights for an hour, as we joined the world in darkness acknowledging and pledging our allegiance towards the fight against global warming in Earth Hour.

How much more have we done since?

In times of disaster, my heart breaks when the papers report the search has been called off. My heart breaks for the people and because I can’t help but wonder what would happen to me if I had instantly lost everything including my family. What mechanisms are in place? Will I be forgotten?

Every time I listen to a safety message on the plane I am reminded that we are to put on our oxygen masks before being able to help others, even our own children. Perhaps now more than ever it’s time to educate the Malaysian people on what to do in times of disaster and to educate the public about the help available.

It’s not just about infrastructure and rebuilding, it’s also about counseling and unseen structures of support.

From the fires in California, the tsunami in Samoa, the typhoon in the Philippines and Vietnam to floods in Italy and the earthquake in Indonesia. All these are our warning signs to buckle up and to be prepared. Because a ‘tidak apa’ attitude will not hold any water in times of disaster.


Natalie’s seriously believes that we need to be prepared and educated because more possum days might recur. Comments: letters@thesundaily.com

Checking On The Checkered Flag

Natalie Shobana Ambrose (24th September 2009 - theSun)

Cars are not my passion, in fact I fall into the stereotypical category of women who can’t be bothered to take care of their cars. But I must confess that I do like looking at pretty cars.

I recently found myself admiring a Lotus. Up close and personal, I marveled at the silhouette of this work of art and understood why it was named after the beautiful flower.

Incidentally the next day it was reported that Malaysia would have its own Lotus- powered Formula One Team.

How interesting I thought.

I didn’t even know we were bidding to take over Honda and BMW’s spot. But then again, I tend to look at the pictures in the sports section more than read the articles.

But how fascinating, to know that the great masters of the sport were giving up citing financial constraints in this economic climate but Malaysia has decided to take up this multi-million dollar challenge.

Had I known earlier, that we were bidding for it, maybe then I’d have thrown in the suggestion for Lotus to help it’s owner Proton to first make car windows that function well. So that Proton owners can enjoy winding down the window to take a parking ticket or pay the toll instead of opening the door while the engine is running and cars are queuing at the back.

Another thing I would have suggested would be perhaps to rethink the name. Not that 1 Malaysia isn’t a good concept or that the team will fail, but what would it mean if we don’t finish the race?

I think it would be good to start small. Take care of the stuff at home first before loosing some tax money past the checkered flag.

Sometimes we are put in the position of opportunity to make bold decisions that could better our future but it doesn’t always mean we have to take them.

I think it’s important to look at our history, of the decisions we have made good and bad, the liabilities we have incurred and the potential liability if our current decision is the wrong one before we move forward.

I’m not good at financial planning but I do know that it would be wiser to fix a leaking roof than to spend the money on a sports car and months later suffer because the roof has collapsed.

Instead of all that money being put towards a car driving round in circles, can all that money be channeled to the people?

Fair enough it is not solely a government project, there are private investors and the advertising money will trickle back to the country – but who will benefit?

When we look at the legacy of each administration, the main goal is to leave something worthwhile, to make a difference, to keep improving ourselves and to do good by the people.

So when we look at the quality of our roads, the traffic jams, bad air quality, rampant theft, the poor, even the middle class that is struggling to make ends meet, parents who tighten their belt even more to pay for a decent education for their children, the lack of medical care, then I wonder if spending millions on an F1 team could be better spent elevating the burden of the people.

Malaysia is a great country if you are rich, influential or an expatriate where everything is available at your fingertips. But what happens to the rest of the country?

Can the USD48 million bond alone that is paid to the The International Automobile Federation to have an F1 team be used for better services for those in need?

What about the millions that is needed to house the F1 team in Sepang, wind tunnel and all?

My hope though when our government makes decisions as financially gigantic as this they realize that it is not what they are able to give the people but what they are willing to give up, because it is not what we are able to do but our willingness to do without.

We have nothing to gain if what we are advertising to the world with the F1 team is a country struggling to provide her people with the basic necessities.

Natalie would like to experience the F1 one day but for now, she’s content with watching it on the big screen.

Comments: letters@thesundaily.com

A Rose By Any Other Name

Natalie Shobana Ambrose (10th September 2009 - theSun)

“I’m not a dictionary!” I used to be told pre-Google times. So I learnt to use the lexicon and I’m still a fan of the physical book though I’m a devotee of the online version.

Definitions are a peculiar thing. Though very useful, it can be confining, inhibiting and determining at times. Sometimes I find that the definition might not be sufficient and that’s when I wonder how well some definitions encapsulate meaning.

I think Shakespeare said it best when the warring families in Romeo and Juliet set the scene where these famous words were uttered “What’s in a name, that which we call a rose, by any other name would smell as sweet”.

I used to wonder what this meant. Would an orange still taste and smell like an orange if it were called an apple? Those were my juvenile thoughts.

Today perhaps I acknowledge the power of definition – how it can change or frame our thoughts, actions and opinions.

It can be easy to understand how some words too can be easily mistaken in definition or interchange meaning.

This though causes much confusion, because the definition itself determines the action or thought pattern of the situation and has the potential to cause grave consequences.

A ceremonial procession which includes people marching could be easily misunderstood as a protest when in fact this definition is clearly the definition of a parade.

There are many similarities of a parade and protest.

In many cases uniforms are involved to identify those involved. Some uniforms may be a little more ornate than an average orange, yellow, black or white t-shirt.

The danger in misunderstanding these definitions is that the consequences vary.

Sometimes when parading, people might carry an object while parading. This varies from group to group. Though to some the object might be sacred, the majority might not define it as such making it a parade instead.

Therefore, it’s important to note that in cases like these where it’s really a thin line, it matters not what the march is about but rather how it’s defined.

Another important note to remember when defining a parade or protest is the availability of a permit, though most times, if the cause is defined as a parade, arrests are not necessary.
So to avoid arrests and tear gas, request to have a parade and not a protest.

When Juliet mentioned the rose in 1594, what she was really saying is what matters is what something is, not what it is called.

If the essence of the parade is hatred, disapproval or an ostentatious display of ignorance, then motive defines the act.

That is why sometimes definitions though very necessary might need to be re-evaluated.

Another word that can cause great confusion is tolerance. Some other words that are synonymous to tolerance such as patience, impartiality, open-mindedness don’t always attach its meaning to tolerance.

Tolerance is more a sufferance, and putting up with something wrong. Though this may seem like a very altruistic quality, it does come with limits and judgement.

A classic example would be my tolerance of noise. Though it is endured, my tolerance of noise may be limited to a decibel that most teenagers might not agree with and if my patience is tested, I might loose cool and be driven to do something not very good.

Though my excuse might be that I’ve tolerated enough and am justified in my outburst, somehow this makes tolerance not a very positive word if my victims have to accept my bad behaviour.

This is when I prefer the word acceptance to tolerance. If one party has to continuously tolerate and the other accepting the consequences of the toleration, things go a little awry and become a little scary.

Definitions are a funny thing.

In order to be taken seriously, we define things, measure outcomes and provide statistics. Yet, the important things in life such as love, harmony, friendship, decency and integrity cannot be precisely defined.

And sometimes in order for peace and justice to be upheld, a spade should be called a spade.

Natalie is not much of a gardener and rarely can be seen with a spade in her hands.
Comments: letters@thesundaily.com

An Equal And One Nation

Natalie Shobana Ambrose (27 September, 2009 - theSun)

A beautiful little bug was hanging tight to my windscreen. I only noticed it at the traffic lights. Holding on for dear life this bug got off at my stop quite a distance from his usual route I’m sure.

It might have taken him at least a year of flying hours to get that far. That was a successful migration I thought, perhaps he needed a change or some bigger bug was telling him what to do all the time and he’d had enough.

Perhaps the other side of the cable bridge might just be offering him a better life. He might even be having a little Merdeka celebration of his own with other migrant bugs.

We’re celebrating a freedom from a colonial past – 52 years of independence. A colonial past that built us good schools, set up a respectable education system, and left us with an admirable constitution embracing all migrants.

So here we are celebrating 52 years of that independence.

Maybe to some, Merdeka might mean a much needed public holiday to sleep in, some nice fireworks and a shorter work week.

Though the foundation of our Merdeka celebration is a political independence from a “big bully”, have we really reached political independence or are we still being governed by a big bully with a different façade?

Sometimes we ourselves can be our own worst enemy. To each ethnic group Merdeka carries a different meaning and I wonder what Merdeka means to the original people or directly translated orang asli of this land we call home and what Merdeka means to the rest of us migrants.

Another question that recurs, is how long will we remain migrants?

If we are to remain migrants the rest of our lives, would that mean we are to apologise for our talents, abilities and capabilities that were nurtured by the land we now live in?

If we love the country enough to succeed, does that make us any less Malaysian because generations before us migrated to the land for a better life?

How many more generations would need to pass before we are equal?

There are many countries that boast multiculturalism and there are many countries welcoming talent not based on ethnicity but pure merit.

Where do we fare?

Are we shooing our talent to these lands because of colour bias and losing our investments because of a lack of fairness, shooting ourselves in the foot.

Countries like America are testimony of migrant success in some ways. I wonder how Madeleine Albright would have fared in a system such as ours? Would she of Czechoslovakian birth and upbringing be able to be the foreign minister of a foreign land?

Perhaps not.

Or Fareed Zakaria an India-born Muslim who went to university in America and now has a long impressive list of positions including editor of Newsweek International.

Let’s not forget the Austrian, Arnold Schwarzenegger, now governor of California, all contributing to the betterment of the foreign land that welcomed them.

My next question is would Jimmy Choo have been taken seriously and become a world famous designer if he stayed in Malaysia?

Perhaps not.

I would like to live in a land of opportunity… a place where my success is based on merit, abilities, capabilities and not just my good looks.

Where talent supersedes racial profiling and my ethnic background adds texture to the colour of the nation.

A conversation with a Malaysian who has been living in a foreign land for almost 20 years ended like this – “At the end of the day, I would rather be a second class citizen in a foreign land because of a decision I made, than to be a third class citizen in the place I call home.”

I’m very grateful for the opportunities I’ve had and the different races that make up my family of friends.

Surely something can be done about losing talent, so that when we think about Malaysia and what Merdeka means to us, it will also mean a land where all are embraced, equal and a one nation.

Natalie has been watching too many animation movies to think that bugs have thoughts and feelings.. Happy Merdeka Malaysia!
Comments: letters@thesundaily.com

Tell Me What You Eat

Natalie Shobana Ambrose (13th September, 2009 - theSun)

August is a month of birthdays in our family. It starts with my grandma’s and ends with my sister and nephew. I was looking forward to the cake on Sunday in celebration of Ammachi’s 91st birthday.

Her secret to long life? Faith, cold showers and cola everyday. What? Cola? Yes you read correctly, cola that starts with a C and not a P (I’ve not been paid to advertise). At first when she started this habit years ago, it concerned her children but they came to a realization, that at her age, why argue?

Another realization on Sunday was that though our family has shrunk due to migration, we all were eating less and had to take home leftovers. I took home cake! But as a family, we were careful with what we ate.

Some of us live to eat and some eat to live. But we all can’t afford to do either/ or – for we’d end up sick either way. While some drink a concoction of bitter gourd and other yummy mixtures to lower sugar levels, I’m told a glass of red wine is good for you, but yesterday read that it causes cancer.

It gets a little all too confusing. One day nuts are good for you the next they will kill you? Yes if you choke on them. Today dairy is good for you and the next thing you know once you’ve stocked up on the yogurt, milk and cheese, you read that women in China don’t eat diary and this reduces their risk of cancer. And out goes the dairy.

Chocolate is a good antioxidant but causes pimples and have you heard that soya beans are good for you. And after you’ve changed your diet to be soya-filled, you find out that it’ not so good for you.

But I guess each generation has its confusions. I saw some advertisements from the 30’s with a happy family on it with the bold words “They’re happy because they eat lard”. And I burst out laughing!

But not as much as when I read a cigarette advert that has a picture of a guy blowing smoke at a woman’s face and the caption says “Blow in her face and she’ll follow you anywhere” More like nowhere I thought. But I bet it wasn’t funny back then. It was cool or the done thing.

The ‘in’ thing now is to go green- no plastic bags. But what about the food we eat and the packaging it comes in? Diets across the world have changed. It’s great to have a more diverse buffet but that extra helping of meat might not just be costing your arteries but hurting the earth.

The UN advises that we should try and adopt a meat free day to curb global warming. Former Beatle, Paul McCartney is pushing for meat-free Mondays to tackle climate change.

With the knowledge that meat causes 18% of global warming, we might want to think about what we put in our mouths.

As our diets change, we should start thinking how this affects our environment. Maybe giving up meat is hard but cutting down might be an option?

Though I believe that everything is permissible, it might not be beneficial. So perhaps cut out the lard, add more greens, get on the stair master and go for the run.

My theory is that everything in moderation because I can’t imagine life without that little bit of chocolate, cookies or ice-cream. Life wouldn’t be as fun without the pleasure of eating.

As I reached out for my second slice of cake, I remembered a saying my friend Nick once repeated to me with a cheeky smile “a moment on the lips a lifetime on the hips, Natalie”.

So as I try to loose the lifetime on my hips, I ponder on the phrase “you are what you eat” but I’m glad my grandma is not a coke bottle.


Natalie might start looking like cookies, cake and ice-cream if she becomes what she eats.

Comments: letters@thesundaily.com

If You're Not Outraged

Natalie Shobana Ambrose (30th July, 2009 - theSun)

There was a little girl sitting on a high chair next to me. She was at that age where everything was meant to be in her mouth- the cup, fork, teddy bear, napkin were all meant to be eaten. As I watched in amusement, her mother quickly stops her hand from causing a glass of hot tea to spill all. Each time this girl got reprimanded, she frowned, wailed a little and picked up the nearest thing she could find. She didn’t take too kindly to the word ‘no’.

In a way I understood this little girl’s frustration. I myself am not fond of restraint or reprimand and I suspect a lot of us aren’t too. In the case of the little miss, it was important that she be taught what was good for her, what was wrong and what was acceptable. Though, she might not agree that teddy bears aren’t to be eaten, she will soon realise that there are far better tasting things then fluff.

But the word ‘no’ is a powerful reprimand and a huge part of our socialization. What we can do, what we should do and what we can’t do, we learn though observation, interpretation and many a time by a slap on the hand. Later we’re taught about boundaries and perhaps correlate a better society to why we have jails, set up anti-corruption agencies, have a police force, laws and so forth. After a while, we learn what is acceptable and what is not or in some cases we are closely monitored to ensure good behaviour. But are some of our country’s boundaries in place to limit or liberate and is there room to deliberate?

The United States is going though a season where its leaders are being scrutinized. A Supreme Court nominee was questioned about her racial bias because of words she uttered 8 years ago. Then a few days later their President chided the police force over a racial incident. His words were immediately scrutinized. What I admire about that society is that these two highly accomplished civil servants are not being given any special treatment. Negative news of their conduct has not been suppressed or forbidden and there is a maturity of openness with the ideal of reprimand no matter who you are.

We here in Malaysia have had our own share of politicians who in their outrage say the most damaging things. So much so that there are 2 volumes worth of faux pas in our bookstores of their darnest quotes compiled by Amir Muhammad. Yet there isn’t an ethics committee in place or the allowance of reprimand allocated for bad behivour.

In fact, quite the opposite happens and the news is suppressed and any mention that is deemed negative, banished and punished. So as a people we observe the prejudice , interpret the bias and probably self censor our thoughts, reprimanding any form of critical thinking going with the flow and become numb to the injustice allowed for the privilege of the powerful. I don’t need to spell out the injustices, you and I can see them for ourselves and if we aren’t outraged, we’re not paying attention.

Our ministers are now tied to their KPI report cards. Will it be open and transparent? Or will the numbers be fudged? We have many structures, and mechanisms to make Malaysia a better society but are we valuing privilege over principle?

Dwight D Eisenhower in his inaugural address in 1953 said ‘A people that values its privileges above its principles soon looses both’.



Natalie is sometimes quiet because she’s practicing the art of holding her tongue in light of being considered intelligent.

Comments: letters@thesundaily.com

My 9 o'clock in KL

Natalie Shobana Ambrose (16th July, 2009 - theSun)

Morning appointments at the heart of KL scare me. As soon as a 9am appointment is scheduled, alarm bells start to ring and feelings of panic, worry, anxiety, trepidation creep up. Maybe it’s just the whiner in me but I find myself in a Hamlet moment.

In times like these I wonder …“To ride or not to ride, to drive or not to drive, to taxi or not to taxi, to bus or not to bus?” That is the question.

I know it’s not a matter of living or dying like in Hamlet, but in some ways it is because the potential of death is quite real ... snatch theft, crazy drivers, scary taxi and bus experiences all have the risk of death as a common factor.

So I mull … what to do, what to do?

If I were to take the LRT to work, how would I get to the nearest station? I could wait for the feeder bus. After all there is a bus stop 50m away from my bed. But one can wait hours before the bus actually comes and it’s probably not the right bus.

I could wait but I’d probably have to get there a couple hours earlier to ensure a seat on the bus – if it actually comes. While I wait for the bus,

I’d be clutching my handbag and laptop bag tightly making it hard to pay the irate bus driver. So that would take over an hour. Then I’d get to the LRT station and join in the hustle and bustle of the morning work crowd.

Hopefully I don’t miss the train. It’s not just a seven-minute interval between trains, it’s a seven-minute difference of a more crowded train. Now to line up for a train only to be cramped like sardines.

I must be careful that my belongings are close to me and make sure I don’t answer the mobile phone if it rings, but hey, who am I kidding? I wouldn’t have any more hands to answer a phone because I’d be concentrating on my balance. Also I might have to stare down irky characters that try to brush up on unsuspecting passengers.

If I’ve not fainted from the lack of oxygen during that long hour’s ride, I’d rush out like everyone else at my stop. Swap trains and repeat. Now to get a taxi or a bus to my destination which is about a five-minute drive but not close enough to walk.

Another hour just to get a metered taxi only to join the massive traffic jam and pay a hefty fare. I’ll probably reach my destination haze-struck, drenched in sweat or wet from the rain due to the lack of covered pedestrian walking areas.

My mental state cluttered while I looked deranged from trying to protect my belongings and reeling from a derogatory whistle from a passer-by. All in all probably be wise to get a three-hour head start.

So maybe it’s better to drive to KL for my 9 o’clock.

I’d probably have to leave my home before 7am for a 30km drive into town. Morning traffic is a killer though. Also I think many road-users wake up on the wrong side of the bed and can be quite nasty on the road or maybe they too are half awake from battling traffic the day before.

So two hours in the car, paid some tolls and got into another jam. I’m hoping no one rams their car into mine or causes me to hit someone and most importantly, that I remain calm and don’t cause accidents myself.

Praying that there are no broken-down cars needing to be towed or that a container/ lorry has not gone through an area with height restrictions and caused a massive jam.And please, please let there not be a VIP motorcade, an accident on the opposite side of the road or an earth mover caterpillaring during rush hour traffic.

Destination reached just over two hours of strategic-defensive driving, but where will I park? Parking rates are pretty steep in town and parking lots are far from my meeting venue.

Can’t triple park on the road unless it’s Friday, so RM10 an entry will have to do even after all that petrol wasted in the jam.Well, now to cross the road and get to that 9 o’clock. Clutch the bag, and let’s hope my heels don’t give way on the potholed roads. Where’s that pedestrian crossing?

A few hours later, I’m back in the office, physically fine, emotionally exhausted. Now to actually get some work done before the balik rumah jam and another day of Hamlet questions.

I wonder how everyone else copes…

Natalie might not feel the pain if she had a personal driver :) though on a serious note, the overall consensus is that transportation in KL is beyond dreadful.

Comment: letters@thesundaily.com

A Quiet Revolution

Natalie Shobana Ambrose (2 July, 2009 - theSun)


We’ve come to the middle of the year. July 2nd means that we’re right smack at the midpoint of 2009. It’s been an interesting 6 months. We’ve got a new leader, a new cabinet, lots of new by-election candidates, new court cases, interesting bills and even a brand new slogan. We’ve also had quite a few revolutions in the form of colours- yellow, orange and even black.

Revolutions have been going on for a very long time. If you believe in Adam and Eve, perhaps you’d agree that their behaviour in the Garden of Eden was the beginning of a revolution which sparked an extensive list of change - political, social, cultural, technological, intellectual and philosophical change that have served as markers in our human history.

In Latin, the word revolution means “a turn around” which is really a turn around in the way we think. So I’m wondering since it’s the middle of the year, maybe we need a turn around regarding our fetish with race.

We in Malaysia speak about race in subterfuge. We’re so concerned about colour even within our own races that we are doubly wrapped in prejudice within our own communities and against other races. We’re so immune to it that we don’t realize that we ourselves might be the culprits of spreading racism and be closet fascist. It’s easy to see and speak in vivid colour when every time one picks up the newspaper there is talk about race which though meant for good ends up offending and pushes people further away from the bridge of unity, hence my call for a quite revolution.

Throughout history, revolution has started with a resolution. I think it’s high time we decided for ourselves how we want to see ‘others’. After all it’s our legacy that we leave behind not the policies and slogans of our country.

Yes there are structural inequalities in place but isn’t that the case all around the world? What we need to realise is that it’s structural issues and cultural problems that are at the core - not race. Sometimes its not a quota system that stops us from being the best, it’s our lack of determination. We’ve given up before we even tried. If you’ve been discriminated against because of the colour of your skin, the best thing you could do is to succeed, because that would be the biggest slap in the face for the people that tried to oppress you.

So perhaps we could start a quiet revolution - one that decides to check our thought, and stop ourselves from indulging in stereotypes and prejudices as we look kindly at one another because that is the essence of being human.

A couple weeks ago, I attended a race relations forum with two good friends. Half way through the forum we realized we were all ethnicly different. To us it didn’t matter what race we were, it mattered that we enjoyed each other’s company and believed more in humanity that race.

I recently came across this poem by Saadi an Iraqi poet who aptly says;

Human beings are members of a whole,
In creation of one essence and soul.
If one member is afflicted with pain,
Other members uneasy will remain.
If you have no sympathy for human pain,
The name of human you cannot retain.


Maybe the resolution for the next half of the year would be for us to turn around our prejudices, look at ourselves and make a change instead of waiting for policies, politicians and slogans to change our circumstances. It will take a while before our policy makers realise that being one means not dividing unity by race. So in the mean time, we can start by being part of a quiet revolution that values life more than race.

We have to start with ourselves and if we stopped our own prejudices and consciously decided to get to know people who are different from us, then we could be part of a quiet revolution towards the unity of humanity that values one another based on the sanctity of life and not colour.

There is no room to be passive victims of racism … we should really be the change because there is too much to loose if we remain silent.



Natalie is echoing an MJ song and resolutes not to live her life being a colour and hopes that you might too.

Comments: letters@thesundaily.com

Playing By Our Own Rules

Natalie Shobana Ambrose (18th June, 2009 - theSun)

The instructions were to conduct a little experiment with the group. The task was a simple game with a few basic rules. What the group didn’t know was that at any time, the rules could change at the leader’s whim.

After a few rounds, the subjects began protesting and getting angry- crying foul that there was no order. Indeed the lesson for the day was that life isn’t fair - some people play by their own rules, and couldn’t care less about others.

I’m sure we’ve all been brushed by some form of that and/or have been culprits of it too.
We find it on the playground when a bully gets his way, or in kindergarten when another is given special treatment, in school when homework is done by others, in the office when colleagues are rewarded for bad behaviour, and in governments where countries are run at the whims and fancies of the mighty.

One big culprit is North Korea. The rule was to adhere to the Nuclear Nonproliferation Treaty. Instead, they defied world powers many, many times. In 2006, they carried out an atomic test.
In April of this year they launched a rocket and last month carried out underground nuclear bomb tests which are comparable to those that destroyed Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

On top of that North Korea has warned of future atomic and long-range missile tests. No one dares call them on it because North Korea plays by its own rules. The powers-that-be are close to taking the rotan and smacking them but they have two pawns – the American journalists and are just about ready to say checkmate.

I’m not sure what the hungry citizens of North Korea think, but just the thought of the effects of the nuclear tests sends shivers down my spine.

Another culprit hails from the African continent. After the International Criminal Court issued a warrant of arrest on the President of Sudan (the world’s first sitting President with a warrant of arrest) , he retaliated by expelling 13 foreign aid-groups from Darfur, where now 1.5 million refugees are slowly dying.

The rule would be that he should stay put in his palace, hand himself in and kowtow to the world powers but instead he toured Egypt, Saudi Arabia, Qatar and Libya and upped his game by appointing a war crimes fraternity member as governor of a boarder province. Who are Omar al-Bashir’s pawn? The people of Darfur … who are voiceless and dying.

Then there is Tehran. With all the protests going on not just in Iran but around the world, one has to wonder did democracy die there too? On the CNN website there is a picture of a young lady holding a placard which reads “What happened to my vote?” A sentiment I gather many Malaysians too share.

There are a lot of people playing by their own rules right here in Malaysia, to such an extent that we are not allowed speak about it. Perhaps we are following blindly the examples from the rest of the world and perhaps think that it is acceptable because it is not as grave.

After all, America defied the United Nations, played by their own rules and waged war on Iraq even when Kofi Annan said that the war was illegal. Though the repercussions of America’s action were minimal within the UN family, the American people continue to suffered, all because their government played by their own rules. And the Iraqis continue to suffer.

It’s frustrating when suddenly the rules change and there is a lack of consistency and fairness. I worry if for some reason I was placed in the position of needing to fight for my rights in a Malaysian court; would there be justice within 24 hours or will I have to wait weeks before my case would be heard?

When there isn’t a level playing field, there isn’t fair play. At the end of the day, the lesson remains that life is not fair, people play by their own rules and we can only hope that they play fair.


Natalie is learning to embrace the concept that that life is not fair- so just deal with it!

Comments: letters@thesundaily.com

Fill In The Blanks With Care

Natalie Shobana Ambrose (4th June, 2009 - theSun)

My hands were freshly stained with henna from a friend’s wedding over the weekend. My feet still a little tired from dancing the previous night but it was Monday and time to get to the office.

Still buzzing from all the fun, I rushed to the back door to hang out the washing when my happiness immediately turned to sadness. There were women in white, tears in their eyes praying in our neighbour’s house. Someone had passed away and just like that life changed.

Two weeks ago, I received good news worthy of me camping on cloud nine for a few weeks. All smiles and with a spring in my step I headed home. On my drive back I thought about life and how it changes so fast. Caught up in my euphoria I realised that not everyone was feeling my joy.

For me I will never forget the events of the day because it made me smile for days and changed my life. But for the person whose car was being towed in front of me, it would have been a day worthy of forgetting. Totally smashed in from the left side, it would have been a horrible experience for the driver and just like that life changed.

I’ve often wondered how differently I would live my life, if I knew I had 10 years to live. A little morbid I guess but I realised I would do many things differently. I would definitely be more courageous and adventurous. I would not put things off and I would probably try a lot more things. I would be less careful with myself and not take too much to heart.

I have a list of things I want to do in this lifetime, some people call it the bucket list. For me I call it my life’s list and it’s a long one. But I’ve come to realise even more importantly that I have to make a list of the qualities I want to possess and work at it. Not only do I want amazing experiences, I also want to be a better person.

Life changes just like that, without warning most times.

Imagine the people whose lives changed when the Air France plane went missing a few days ago. Or the lives of the workers who died and the architect responsible when the iconic Jaya Supermarket building collapsed last week.

Life changed.

But for the rest of us it goes on.

A few weeks ago, I was overwhelmed with decisions, deadlines and to-do lists, and I found myself wishing so hard that I could press pause while I carried on with my day catching up while everyone else was paused. Many times, I wish I could rewind my days and sometimes fast forward. But we can’t.

In the three minutes it takes you to read this article 300 babies would be born and 620 people would have died. Life would have changed for many – some would be mourning while others filled with joy of a new life. While some born might not be wanted or welcomed into the world, (but) life would keep going on and in another three minutes more life, more deaths and more changes.

Maybe the very least we could do is try and practise what Plato said “Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.”

I think that once we accept that our time on earth is short, we are better prepared for life and want to become better people.

There is a poem entitled The Dash by Linda Ellis. It defines the dash between our birth dates and our “expiry dates”. The dash is our life and really our legacy. Our decisions define our legacies and the lives we touch.

Every time I head to the backyard I’m reminded about how life has changed, how life has to go on and miss what has been lost.

Natalie believes we should be slow to Twitter, quick to think and spend more time at life.

Comments: letters@thesundaily.com.

Until I Have My Way

Natalie Shobana Ambrose (21th May, 2009 theSun)

“SHUT UP or I’ll knock your heads together” was a common phrase I used to hear growing up. Loud arguing children can be hard on the nerves especially when there are a million other things that deserve one’s attention besides exasperating little people.

Children can be quite adamant if they want to. I was once in a car with a screaming child who refused to listen to any reasoning until he got his way. But he didn’t and so after a lot of ear-piercing pitches, he finally ran out of the car, red faced from all that used up energy.

It was not a pleasant performance but forgivable because he’s just a kid, so he is only now learning to negotiate and understand the lesson that we don’t always get our way.

It isn’t an easy lesson to learn. In fact, it is a very difficult lesson that many adults like myself struggle with. It’s frustrating and it interferes with my “perfect” plans.

Sometimes when I think I deserve something and don’t get it, frustration seeps in. But who’s to say that I deserved it in the first place?

Maybe it’s too much world politics that has made me arrogant in thinking that the world should revolve around my wants and what I think I deserve. Because that’s how a lot of politicians behave. Very few seem to care about the people that they are called to serve.

Most times they seem to be locking heads with whomever is not giving in to them. Everyone has to follow suit and be agreeable. If not out you go. And sometimes it’s not just out you go, but more of a “I’m going to destroy you” attitude and character assassinate to a pulp. Ruling, opposition or independent all seem to follow this mantra of politicking.

Margaret Thacher when in office said, “I love argument, I love debate. I don’t expect anyone just to sit there and agree with me, that’s not their job.”

How many of us would say this? And how many politicians adopt this understanding of healthy discourse. So instead of listening to what the other person has to say – all that seems to happen is an “I’ll close my ears till you stop talking.”

Nothing then gets resolved except for both sides wanting their own way.

It reminds me of the Malay proverb “Gajah sama gajah bergaduh, pelanduk mati ditengah-tengah”. While the two large elephants are fighting, the little mouse deer in the middle might end up being trampled on.

This scene seems similar to what’s happening in many parts of our country. Everyone has opinions on the situation. What the two elephants don’t seem to realise is that the people are watching, analysing and formulating opinions on the characters of the two locking horns.

One positive thing is the realisation that it is important to have rules, to follow rules and the importance of the constitution. Sadly, most Malaysians know more about America’s Constitution than our own, all thanks to television and no thanks to the lack of teaching of the Malaysian Constitution in our schools.

So, everyone’s got their own interpretation but not many have actually read it.And while all the hullabaloo is going on, the little mouse deer is neglected hoping that the elephants sort themselves out.

It seems like the only thing that’s going to work is a total overhaul. It seems impossible but nothing is impossible.

I’m glad I’ve accepted the truth that the world does not revolve around me though I must say, I do lapse into self-centredness occasionally. There will always be undesirable things, people, opinions and situations in life, politics being one of them.

Perhaps what will make us feel better is if we change our point of view and look at things from a different angle and repeat these words, “The world does not revolve around me.” If not, one day our heads will be knocked together and what good would that be?

Natalie would love a day of sunshine, green lights, no potholes, all her favourite food, agreeable people and happy news in the papers.

Comment: letters@thesundaily.com

Rat-Racing My Time Away

Natalie Shobana Ambrose (7th May, 2009 theSun)

Have you ever wished that with a wiggle of your nose work would get done? Or that in the midnight hour after everyone was asleep, little elves would come and do perfect needle work and you’d get the credit? I have many a time secretly wished that my nose had magic when it twitched and that little elves would surprise me especially if I had fallen asleep on my notes.

I suspect a lot of people might share my fantasy. I recently found myself in an interesting discussion about work. (I’ve got the feeling that I’ve opened a can of worms that probably won’t be sorted by the end of the article.)

People were comparing war scars of how late they work and how many days in a row they practically stay in the office. At first I thought they were complaining but quickly realised they were patting themselves on the back vying for some trophy.

The equation was the more hours you put in, the more hardworking or committed you are.
Perhaps I’m being idealistic when saying there isn’t a direct correlation between how good you are and the number of hours you put in. Fearing I’d be hissed at, I stayed quiet, feeling like quite the European trapped in a Malaysian body.

I do believe that it is important to work and to work hard. It is part of our make-up. But I also believe that there is a time to leave work behind and play. Yes, you may have a demanding job or just love to work or need to make more money or just keep your job. But how many people are racing towards burnout or losing their identity?

We have a habit of describing ourselves by the jobs we do, that the essence of the person sometimes gets lost. It also makes us feel important. I detest it when the second question after my name is "What do you do?" I’ve been tempted many times to say pole dancer or shampoo girl. Though I’ve not had the guts to and it would be against my polite Malaysian nature to be so rude.

Though it would be nice not to equate my worth and identity based on my job, we are all guilty of attaching more worth based on job hierarchy or employer.

So when we change jobs or retire, we lose ourselves. That’s why it’s so important to be able to have a life outside the cubicle or office with a view.

When it comes to lessons on work, the humble ant is an industry giant and a model of wisdom. Hardworking and diligent ants are always on the job. Don’t you wonder if ants ever chill out. Fair enough they work in a family business so their family and work time are all rolled into one – they’ve got the work-family balance sorted but do they have friends time or me time?

The most precious commodity you and I have is time. Some companies think that if they pay well, they own you. Others don’t even pay well – they just own you because in today’s job market those with jobs should be thankful. So people get fed up, ditch their power suits and do something more colourful giving the finger to those who are caught in the daily grind.

There’s a lot of talk about corporate (social) responsibility for the community but I wonder how much of it is being practised in-house. When people are expected to clock out at 7pm on a good day, how much time does that person have after battling the traffic and preparing dinner?

For most it’s a quick bite and then more work. Or because people finish work so late on not so good days they end up stumbling into work exhausted – not very productive for the company.

It’s important to treat ourselves well and to insist on a balance whether employer or employee. Key performance indicators should measure balance too. Sometimes we give so much to our jobs that we lose a lot more like family, friends and time enjoying life – without the blackberry.

I like going to work when the sun is up and leaving the office while it’s still bright enough to do stuff. It depresses me if I don’t see the evening sun too often. The bottom line is that we all want to be happy. Work and love are essential to a happy life, and at the end of the day, a job is just a job, and I am more than my job.

Natalie believes that work is an essential part of life but life is more than just work.

Comments: letters@thesundaily.com

The Argumentative Malaysian

Natalie Shobana Ambrose (23 April 2009- theSun)

It was a usual busy Monday in KL city. I had foreign friends in town and decided that we’d LRT into KL and taxi around the tourist spots for the day, saving on parking and experiencing true Malaysia without the traffic jams. After approaching 10 taxi drivers and walking up and down busy Bukit Bintang street trying to get a metered taxi, I lost my cool.

I argued with a tout for wanting to charge us RM20 to drive from Pavilion to KLCC – a walk-able distance. Yes, we had to take a cab because we had luggage and it was raining. So there I was – on one hand trying to show my friends beautiful Malaysia but instead all my efforts were ruined when I argued with the 11th taxi driver.

We got so fed up, that we walked some more and gave in. It was infuriating. Obviously, we didn’t have a choice and they knew it. We would finally cave. Three minutes and ten ringgit poorer, we reached our destination – the pride of our nation – the Twin Towers where the movie Entrapment was filmed. I definitely felt entrapped … What a rip-off, I kept thinking.

I felt violated and this was not the first time which made it even worse. Then I thought, should I not have argued with the tout and taken down his cab number? I knew the only reason I did argue was because there were four of us and one big guy. So I was “safe” but transport-less and potentially stranded ... unless I gave in but I just didn’t want to – without a fight.

I’d have kept quiet and paid him had I been alone. I thought to myself why is this the situation? Why do they have to resort to such behaviour?

The reality is that these taxi drivers themselves need more than what they earn to survive. And perhaps they aren’t getting paid enough to provide for themselves and their families. Yes, some seem to want to make a quick buck and see it as their right to cheat but in general, the system in place is not working.

Surely this is a problem that can be resolved if it was important enough to those who had the power to do something and were forced to depend on public transport daily.

I guess the only reason I feel affected is because I decided not to drive into town one day but if I never did, I wouldn’t know the plight of those who do it everyday.

Human nature is that we care for what is ours. It takes effort to see beyond ourselves and to listen to another’s views. I find it hard even to do that in my daily life, what more our public figures when everything seems magnified.

Sometimes we argue, fight, defend and try to protect our rights and get nowhere except being exhausted. So maybe what we need is to stop arguing and start communicating. It’s definitely not easy but it is possible. It’s important to know when to argue and when to let go.

Though, when in a position of influence it is important to dialogue instead of debate unless it’s during an election. Civilised discourse needs to be the first response and not the last option. While we need to cultivate an appetite for peace instead of conflict, we must remember that peace does not mean pushing someone into a corner but it means acceptance and finding common ground.

Every soldier who fires a round needs time to reload. I understand why sometimes leaders stay quiet when their followers want a response. It is because we have to choose our battles if not we too will perish fighting in the battles we pick.

We need to strike a balance. So instead of following Newton’s law of motion, and reacting to everything, we need to stop reacting and start listening and start talking.

Extending an olive branch doesn’t make us weak, or nullify our arguments. It means that you’re strong enough to want to work things through.

I ended up laughing with that taxi driver about being Malaysian and the need to argue. Perhaps, if I were a taxi driver, I would have charged far more if my office were the roads of Kuala Lumpur.

Natalie would not make a good tour guide and wonders if anything will change the next time she’s in need of a taxi in KL.

Comments: letters@thesundaily.com

An Inheritance Worth Inheriting

Natalie Shobana Ambrose (9 April 2009- theSun)

Every time I meet older family friends, the automatic observation is how similar I look like my parents when they were my age. I remember getting quite upset when I was a kid. I’d cut back saying "I look like me, thank you very much!"

I never understood how I could look like so many people – my grandma, aunts, mother, sister, cousins. It was baffling. How could I have inherited the nose of grandma, the smile of my sister, the toes of an aunt, the hair texture of my father’s aunt’s daughter, when they are all alive and using their noses, toes and hair? At that age, I honestly thought I was put together like one of the many Picasso women who had very disjointed funny- looking faces.

Yes, I inherited the many features of my family and in particular my parents. Though as the years went by I realised that I not only inherited the features of various and random family members, I also inherited their work ethics, principles and certain qualities – good and bad – whether I liked it or not.

In the space of five months I have attended nine weddings, and at some point in the wedding ceremony the bride and groom thank their parents for bringing them up and all the wonderful lessons and experience their parents have taught them. One bride said that her parents had taught her to be true to herself. That no matter what she achieved in life, she had to be honest and truthful to herself and those around her. A very important lesson for everyone there that evening and a great inheritance.

I think many times, we go about life not realising our behaviour makes up part of the legacy we leave behind. It matters not how much money we make, the cars we drive or the designer labels we collect. It matters that our business ethic is solid, that we are respectful to everyone even those younger than us and those who clean up after us. It matters that we are bold enough to stand up for injustices even if it means we are punished for it. And it matters that we give back to society. But most of all, it matters that we are honest in everything we do.

As a country I look at our leaders as the parents of the nation. They are the ones that plan, guide and the ones we are to look up to. What they do today is what we will inherit and what our children and children’s children will inherit.

Somehow the good qualities are overshadowed by corruption, bullying, the lack of responsibility, the dilution of oaths, the mockery of the judicial system and an outright arrogance of being right without discourse. It’s sad because I want to inherit a culture of equality, opportunity, transparency and most of all honesty.

But I don’t see it today.

With elected leaders resigning by fax and hopping from one party to another, it is like our leaders are dancing the hokey pokey with our future. By-elections with disgusting behaviour of character assassinations for the sake of winning at all costs and tabloid antics paid for by the people’s money. It worries me because I wonder if this is what I want my children’s children to inherit when they call themselves Malaysians.

William Shakespeare once said "No legacy is so rich as honesty". Not all are privileged to inherit such good qualities, but just because we inherit bad qualities doesn’t give us an excuse not to change and make things right.

We have just inherited a new prime minister who is blessed with a great legacy his father left him. Soon a new cabinet will follow. I hope that they will not flip-flop in oblivion and actually look out for the nation’s interest. I also hope that they will be good sports and learn that it’s healthy having differing views. And perhaps, place equality before the law, social justice and human rights on top of their to-do list.

As a Malaysian, have I inherited an inheritance worth inheriting? And as a nation are we living to leave a legacy worth inheriting?

Natalie is glad that in her "old-age" she appreciates her inheritance and hopes to leave an inheritance worth inheriting.

Comments: letters@thesundaily.com

A Pinch Of Salt

Natalie Shobana Ambrose (26 March 2009 –theSun)

As a child I didn’t understand idioms but I’d mull over them and make up my own meanings. One such phrase was ‘worth your salt’. My interpretation - because my skin is salty I must be worth my salt!

I later learnt the importance of salt as a natural preservative; it keeps away bacteria and accentuates flavour. Most of all salt is necessary for the survival of all living creatures.

I ask the question today, are you worth your salt, because I’m looking at our news stories and it’s really sad.

As I write this column I’ve realized that I’m scared to write what I think because having an opinion or actually voicing out an opinion is a dangerous thing in Malaysia. Freedom in moderation is the call of the day when freedom itself is an absolute.

We are governed by laws that are interpreted at someone’s whims and fancy, coercing the people to behave in a certain way because we’re scared, when leadership should really be about inspiring good conduct which has more of an impact.

I want to be inspired, and I want to be proud of our leaders. I really do… but each day they stoop lower and lower and lower while the level of arrogance reaches far above the ground. It’s embarrassing. When a wrong decision is made, the travesty is not the wrong decision, it is the lack of humility to admit a mistake and reverse the decision.

Did we apologise to Brunei for claiming Limbang was ours last week when the dispute has been ongoing on since 1890?

We didn’t.

We reacted in our usual manner- ignore the situation and it will go away. Silence in a situation needing a response is unwise. It means you don’t care and that is a very grave impression any institution or political party should want to take.

When politicians are found guilty of something or rather, they don’t step down from their positions. Anyone worth their salt would be embarrassed and step down. Instead, they remain in their positions or make a come back- not inspiring good conduct.

Is this the measure of our leaders?

Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., wrote, "The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."

In his first speech since leaving office, former American President George W. Bush said that he would not criticise President Barack Obama. His exact words were “He deserves my silence”.

In my mind, I thought if anyone has the right to criticise the new President, it would be Bush.

I’m not a Bush fan but he does deserve credit for taking this stand. I’d like to take it a little further and say perhaps he also feels this way because the new President has shown that he is worth his salt. He’s not just words, he is action, sincerity and it all looks genuine.

Most Malaysians might not know first hand what a war zone feels like but in the last year, Malaysian politics feels like a battle field with no peace treaty in sight and no hope for the people. All sense of decorum seems lost to the point I feel embarrassed for those in the public’s eye.

During a time, where most people feel the only way to get through to politicians is to write letters asking for a truce, I’d like to ask all the politicians even those not allowed to contest – Do you love your country more than you love politics?

If the answer is yes to country then behave like it. Let your yes be yes and your no’s be no, so that you aren’t condemned and swayed like the lalang.

Malaysian politics is like the little girl who walks around the playground violently moving her arms up and down saying ‘I’ll just go about my business and whoever gets in my way will get hit’. Even if it’s her own face.

To the politicians - powerful, not so powerful and in the making… how will you measure in “times of challenge and controversy”- are you worth your salt?



Natalie ponders if winning the battle makes sense when the war is lost.

Comment: letters@thesundaily.com

I Am Woman, Make Me Sing

Natalie Shobana Ambrose (12 March 2009 –theSun)

I was driving the other day and had a compilation CD playing in the car "100 most beautiful love songs". Didn’t pay much attention to the soothing sounds of the male voice when suddenly my eyes nearly popped out and I gave the radio my disapproving stare. Jack Jones was singing his advice to wives.

He sung… Wives should always be lovers too. That wasn’t my problem, my problem was the rest of the song where he says in his soothing voice – I’m warning youuuuuu

Day after day,

There are girls in the office

And men will always be men

Don’t send them off

With your hair still in curlers

You may not see him again

Shock, horror, fright. The feminist in me was throwing a fit. How condescending was this song and how could anyone say, or sing, such detrimental lyrics. Whoever listed this as a beautiful love song should have their heads examined.

It’s a good thing Jack was not in front of me, I’d have given him a piece of my mind by singing "Hit the road Jack and don’t you come back no more no more no more no more" while knocking some stiletto sense into him.

To those still reading this article, you might think I’m quite the feminist or just plain mental. Either way, very unflattering terms. I wasn’t always like this. I became more of a feminist when I went to New Zealand – the first country to allow women to vote.

I’d borrowed as much as I could carry from the library and was heading towards the tall cafeteria swing doors. When suddenly the doors just hit me. I was sure there was a guy ahead of me, so why didn’t he hold the door open? After seething my disapproval to my new found Kiwi friends, I in turn began my education in equality, feminism, woman’s rights, etc.

That’s when I learned that men were actually afraid to open/ hold doors for women! Of course they were if women were biting off their heads each time they did so.

What a sad state of affairs. I was suddenly so grateful for the Malaysian men in my life who actually open doors. (Readers note: not all Malaysian men)

A lot of the times, there is confusion about feminism and femininity. Even extremes – like when people think that you have to choose between having rights or being feminine. Feminism, to many, comes across as men bashing, when it’s really about women wanting to have the same – and equal – opportunities men have.

It’s a good thing I won’t get 40 lashes for mingling with men, or that men won’t get arrested for seeking an autograph from a female writer – though it is worrying that such incidents had occurred just last week in other parts of the world. I’m also grateful to the "feminists" who continue to fight for women’s rights – simply to be equal and not be discriminated because of gender.

Though in all this, chivalry has gone AWOL. Sometimes I wonder if men have been socialised by women to be brute. So many times I’ve been caught in a situation where I hesitate to walk out of the lift first because I’m not sure if chivalry took the day off. And I’m pleasantly surprised when the door is held open for me.

I believe that men and women are equal, with different strengths. Pulling out a chair or holding the door open for me doesn’t make me the weaker sex.

There is something refreshing when a guy holds the lift door or lets a woman walk through first because, even though I want equal rights, equal opportunities, equal pay and am fully capable of
opening the door for myself, I am still fond of chivalrous men.

It irks me when I see a male boss walking freely while his female PA scurries behind carrying his briefcase. Is it that hard to treat her with respect? I can’t imagine her singing "You make me feel like a natural woman" while she carries his heavy load.

No, I’ve not been watching too many romantic movies. I just believe that it is okay to be chivalrous and that chivalry is really about treating each other politely and with respect.

And maybe we’d get better at it once we understand the difference between women’s rights and treating a woman right.

Natalie appreciates common courtesy from both genders in today’s world but wonders how knights behaved during the Age of Chivalry.

Comment: letters@thesundaily.com