A Pinch Of Salt

Natalie Shobana Ambrose (26 March 2009 –theSun)

As a child I didn’t understand idioms but I’d mull over them and make up my own meanings. One such phrase was ‘worth your salt’. My interpretation - because my skin is salty I must be worth my salt!

I later learnt the importance of salt as a natural preservative; it keeps away bacteria and accentuates flavour. Most of all salt is necessary for the survival of all living creatures.

I ask the question today, are you worth your salt, because I’m looking at our news stories and it’s really sad.

As I write this column I’ve realized that I’m scared to write what I think because having an opinion or actually voicing out an opinion is a dangerous thing in Malaysia. Freedom in moderation is the call of the day when freedom itself is an absolute.

We are governed by laws that are interpreted at someone’s whims and fancy, coercing the people to behave in a certain way because we’re scared, when leadership should really be about inspiring good conduct which has more of an impact.

I want to be inspired, and I want to be proud of our leaders. I really do… but each day they stoop lower and lower and lower while the level of arrogance reaches far above the ground. It’s embarrassing. When a wrong decision is made, the travesty is not the wrong decision, it is the lack of humility to admit a mistake and reverse the decision.
Did we apologise to Brunei for claiming Limbang was ours last week when the dispute has been ongoing on since 1890?

We didn’t.

We reacted in our usual manner- ignore the situation and it will go away. Silence in a situation needing a response is unwise. It means you don’t care and that is a very grave impression any institution or political party should want to take.

When politicians are found guilty of something or rather, they don’t step down from their positions. Anyone worth their salt would be embarrassed and step down. Instead, they remain in their positions or make a come back- not inspiring good conduct.

Is this the measure of our leaders?

Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., wrote, "The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."

In his first speech since leaving office, former American President George W. Bush said that he would not criticise President Barack Obama. His exact words were “He deserves my silence”.
In my mind, I thought if anyone has the right to criticise the new President, it would be Bush.
I’m not a Bush fan but he does deserve credit for taking this stand. I’d like to take it a little further and say perhaps he also feels this way because the new President has shown that he is worth his salt. He’s not just words, he is action, sincerity and it all looks genuine.

Most Malaysians might not know first hand what a war zone feels like but in the last year, Malaysian politics feels like a battle field with no peace treaty in sight and no hope for the people. All sense of decorum seems lost to the point I feel embarrassed for those in the public’s eye.

During a time, where most people feel the only way to get through to politicians is to write letters asking for a truce, I’d like to ask all the politicians even those not allowed to contest – Do you love your country more than you love politics?

If the answer is yes to country then behave like it. Let your yes be yes and your no’s be no, so that you aren’t condemned and swayed like the lalang.

Malaysian politics is like the little girl who walks around the playground violently moving her arms up and down saying ‘I’ll just go about my business and whoever gets in my way will get hit’. Even if it’s her own face.

To the politicians - powerful, not so powerful and in the making… how will you measure in “times of challenge and controversy”- are you worth your salt?



Natalie ponders if winning the battle makes sense when the war is lost.

I Am Woman, Make Me Sing

Natalie Shobana Ambrose (12 March 2009 –theSun)

I was driving the other day and had a compilation CD playing in the car "100 most beautiful love songs". Didn’t pay much attention to the soothing sounds of the male voice when suddenly my eyes nearly popped out and I gave the radio my disapproving stare. Jack Jones was singing his advice to wives.
He sung… Wives should always be lovers too. That wasn’t my problem, my problem was the rest of the song where he says in his soothing voice – I’m warning youuuuuu

Day after day,
There are girls in the office
And men will always be men
Don’t send them off
With your hair still in curlers
You may not see him again

Shock, horror, fright. The feminist in me was throwing a fit. How condescending was this song and how could anyone say, or sing, such detrimental lyrics. Whoever listed this as a beautiful love song should have their heads examined.

It’s a good thing Jack was not in front of me, I’d have given him a piece of my mind by singing "Hit the road Jack and don’t you come back no more no more no more no more" while knocking some stiletto sense into him.

To those still reading this article, you might think I’m quite the feminist or just plain mental. Either way, very unflattering terms. I wasn’t always like this. I became more of a feminist when I went to New Zealand – the first country to allow women to vote.

I’d borrowed as much as I could carry from the library and was heading towards the tall cafeteria swing doors. When suddenly the doors just hit me. I was sure there was a guy ahead of me, so why didn’t he hold the door open? After seething my disapproval to my new found Kiwi friends, I in turn began my education in equality, feminism, woman’s rights, etc.

That’s when I learned that men were actually afraid to open/ hold doors for women! Of course they were if women were biting off their heads each time they did so.

What a sad state of affairs. I was suddenly so grateful for the Malaysian men in my life who actually open doors. (Readers note: not all Malaysian men)

A lot of the times, there is confusion about feminism and femininity. Even extremes – like when people think that you have to choose between having rights or being feminine. Feminism, to many, comes across as men bashing, when it’s really about women wanting to have the same – and equal – opportunities men have.

It’s a good thing I won’t get 40 lashes for mingling with men, or that men won’t get arrested for seeking an autograph from a female writer – though it is worrying that such incidents had occurred just last week in other parts of the world. I’m also grateful to the "feminists" who continue to fight for women’s rights – simply to be equal and not be discriminated because of gender.

Though in all this, chivalry has gone AWOL. Sometimes I wonder if men have been socialised by women to be brute. So many times I’ve been caught in a situation where I hesitate to walk out of the lift first because I’m not sure if chivalry took the day off. And I’m pleasantly surprised when the door is held open for me.

I believe that men and women are equal, with different strengths. Pulling out a chair or holding the door open for me doesn’t make me the weaker sex.

There is something refreshing when a guy holds the lift door or lets a woman walk through first because, even though I want equal rights, equal opportunities, equal pay and am fully capable of
opening the door for myself, I am still fond of chivalrous men.

It irks me when I see a male boss walking freely while his female PA scurries behind carrying his briefcase. Is it that hard to treat her with respect? I can’t imagine her singing "You make me feel like a natural woman" while she carries his heavy load.

No, I’ve not been watching too many romantic movies. I just believe that it is okay to be chivalrous and that chivalry is really about treating each other politely and with respect.

And maybe we’d get better at it once we understand the difference between women’s rights and treating a woman right.

Natalie appreciates common courtesy from both genders in today’s world but wonders how knights behaved during the Age of Chivalry.