Good Deed Gone Bad

Posted by Natalie Shobana Ambrose
By Natalie Shobana Ambrose                                                                               
theSun, Malaysia (page 14)
September 8th, 2011
http://www.thesundaily.my/news/136402/


"Dear Radio DJ, I've got a dilemma, should I accept a work opportunity for a better paying job in a different part of the world or forgo it because I'm not sure how my relationship will do long distance. Please help!"

My morning drives seem to include these "please solve my problem" segments. If it doesn't, there's an advertisement about it and it's not just one station, it seems to be a growing trend.

One segment in particular made me cringe as the call was made by a woman being cheated on and in her desperation wanted to find resolution. Something so private and delicate was now repeatedly aired by the radio station.

I felt really bad for the woman who had called up. In her time of need and despair, she had no one to turn to and thought she'd get advice the best she knew how but instead it was used as an advertising gimmick.

With the little information given, and no training or proper credentials, these hosts and listeners weigh in with their good advice. They mean well and some do have sensible advice to give but many times a careless discussion ensues.

Imagine the damage they are causing by being well meaning. The damage may not just be to the person who called in but those involved in the situation or to someone listening who might be in a similar situation.

It's in our nature to be well meaning and concerned but not all good intentions end up being for the good of the person we're trying to help.

This well meaning trait is rather evident in Malaysian culture. With numerous non-governmental organisations and charity homes run by volunteers, we Malaysians often enough give in to that good Samaritan tug.

We teach our young to give loose change to the beggar, we oblige the tissue paper seller that comes around the stalls, we even might have a standing order with the bank for monthly donations to be dispersed to various charitable organisations.

During the festive season or when we're overwhelmed by our blessings, in thanksgiving we send one-off gifts to orphanages – like a fast-food meal treat or we organise an excursion to spend time with kids for a few hours or a day. If we don't have time to do these things we might be diligently donating instead.

Though these acts seem noble and make us feel good, we need to question how much real good is it doing to the receiver or are we causing more damage. It's difficult for these organisations to screen volunteers or have rules.

At the end of the day, a charity is a charity and there is a heavy reliance on public donations for their survival. If those in charge start declining one-off meals or good deeds because of the wrong message it sends then it won't be long before they cease to exist and those in their care ultimately suffer.

Not only should we be consistent and both parties responsible and accountable, proper training is imperative. It is one thing to want to give but we need to be aware and go beyond how we feel and do what is right for those we're trying to help.

This includes overseas missions and aid efforts overseas. Are people trained before being sent off? Are they equipped well enough to enter war-torn countries or unsafe territories? Are they also mentally able to process what they witness?

Many volunteers end up as disaster tourists which causes more damage than help because they are not trained and use scarce resources.

Last week's tragedy in Somalia has driven home the importance of proper training and support for volunteers.

It's sad that we had to lose a life before stringent guidelines could be drawn up. Though the mission was meant for good, the fact remains that there was little foresight in the importance of suitable training.

Not only is training required for international volunteer missions, but local charities and homes need to be empowered to not just take scraps and create proper guidelines for volunteers and volunteering efforts. It's not about volunteers feeling good, the good deeds need to benefit and not cause burden or severe damage.

Volunteers too have the potential to cause long-term damage if they do not have the right credentials, proper training and support – even if it's well intentioned advice shows on the radio.

Hopefully the next time we give well meaning advice, play Dr Counsellor or decide to volunteer for a charitable mission we realise that our good deeds can go bad without the proper training.

Natalie hopes that radio stations will be more sensible and believes that we need to start being responsible volunteers and advice givers.