Playing By Our Own Rules

Natalie Shobana Ambrose (18th June, 2009 - theSun)


The instructions were to conduct a little experiment with the group. The task was a simple game with a few basic rules. What the group didn’t know was that at any time, the rules could change at the leader’s whim.

After a few rounds, the subjects began protesting and getting angry- crying foul that there was no order. Indeed the lesson for the day was that life isn’t fair - some people play by their own rules, and couldn’t care less about others.

I’m sure we’ve all been brushed by some form of that and/or have been culprits of it too.
We find it on the playground when a bully gets his way, or in kindergarten when another is given special treatment, in school when homework is done by others, in the office when colleagues are rewarded for bad behaviour, and in governments where countries are run at the whims and fancies of the mighty.

One big culprit is North Korea. The rule was to adhere to the Nuclear Nonproliferation Treaty. Instead, they defied world powers many, many times. In 2006, they carried out an atomic test.
In April of this year they launched a rocket and last month carried out underground nuclear bomb tests which are comparable to those that destroyed Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

On top of that North Korea has warned of future atomic and long-range missile tests. No one dares call them on it because North Korea plays by its own rules. The powers-that-be are close to taking the rotan and smacking them but they have two pawns – the American journalists and are just about ready to say checkmate.

I’m not sure what the hungry citizens of North Korea think, but just the thought of the effects of the nuclear tests sends shivers down my spine.

Another culprit hails from the African continent. After the International Criminal Court issued a warrant of arrest on the President of Sudan (the world’s first sitting President with a warrant of arrest) , he retaliated by expelling 13 foreign aid-groups from Darfur, where now 1.5 million refugees are slowly dying.

The rule would be that he should stay put in his palace, hand himself in and kowtow to the world powers but instead he toured Egypt, Saudi Arabia, Qatar and Libya and upped his game by appointing a war crimes fraternity member as governor of a boarder province. Who are Omar al-Bashir’s pawn? The people of Darfur … who are voiceless and dying.

Then there is Tehran. With all the protests going on not just in Iran but around the world, one has to wonder did democracy die there too? On the CNN website there is a picture of a young lady holding a placard which reads “What happened to my vote?” A sentiment I gather many Malaysians too share.

There are a lot of people playing by their own rules right here in Malaysia, to such an extent that we are not allowed speak about it. Perhaps we are following blindly the examples from the rest of the world and perhaps think that it is acceptable because it is not as grave.

After all, America defied the United Nations, played by their own rules and waged war on Iraq even when Kofi Annan said that the war was illegal. Though the repercussions of America’s action were minimal within the UN family, the American people continue to suffered, all because their government played by their own rules. And the Iraqis continue to suffer.

It’s frustrating when suddenly the rules change and there is a lack of consistency and fairness. I worry if for some reason I was placed in the position of needing to fight for my rights in a Malaysian court; would there be justice within 24 hours or will I have to wait weeks before my case would be heard?

When there isn’t a level playing field, there isn’t fair play. At the end of the day, the lesson remains that life is not fair, people play by their own rules and we can only hope that they play fair.


Natalie is learning to embrace the concept that that life is not fair- so just deal with it!

Comments: letters@thesundaily.com

Fill In The Blanks With Care

Natalie Shobana Ambrose (4th June, 2009 - theSun)

My hands were freshly stained with henna from a friend’s wedding over the weekend. My feet still a little tired from dancing the previous night but it was Monday and time to get to the office.

Still buzzing from all the fun, I rushed to the back door to hang out the washing when my happiness immediately turned to sadness. There were women in white, tears in their eyes praying in our neighbour’s house. Someone had passed away and just like that life changed.

Two weeks ago, I received good news worthy of me camping on cloud nine for a few weeks. All smiles and with a spring in my step I headed home. On my drive back I thought about life and how it changes so fast. Caught up in my euphoria I realised that not everyone was feeling my joy.

For me I will never forget the events of the day because it made me smile for days and changed my life. But for the person whose car was being towed in front of me, it would have been a day worthy of forgetting. Totally smashed in from the left side, it would have been a horrible experience for the driver and just like that life changed.

I’ve often wondered how differently I would live my life, if I knew I had 10 years to live. A little morbid I guess but I realised I would do many things differently. I would definitely be more courageous and adventurous. I would not put things off and I would probably try a lot more things. I would be less careful with myself and not take too much to heart.

I have a list of things I want to do in this lifetime, some people call it the bucket list. For me I call it my life’s list and it’s a long one. But I’ve come to realise even more importantly that I have to make a list of the qualities I want to possess and work at it. Not only do I want amazing experiences, I also want to be a better person.

Life changes just like that, without warning most times.

Imagine the people whose lives changed when the Air France plane went missing a few days ago. Or the lives of the workers who died and the architect responsible when the iconic Jaya Supermarket building collapsed last week.

Life changed.

But for the rest of us it goes on.

A few weeks ago, I was overwhelmed with decisions, deadlines and to-do lists, and I found myself wishing so hard that I could press pause while I carried on with my day catching up while everyone else was paused. Many times, I wish I could rewind my days and sometimes fast forward. But we can’t.

In the three minutes it takes you to read this article 300 babies would be born and 620 people would have died. Life would have changed for many – some would be mourning while others filled with joy of a new life. While some born might not be wanted or welcomed into the world, (but) life would keep going on and in another three minutes more life, more deaths and more changes.

Maybe the very least we could do is try and practise what Plato said “Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.”

I think that once we accept that our time on earth is short, we are better prepared for life and want to become better people.

There is a poem entitled The Dash by Linda Ellis. It defines the dash between our birth dates and our “expiry dates”. The dash is our life and really our legacy. Our decisions define our legacies and the lives we touch.

Every time I head to the backyard I’m reminded about how life has changed, how life has to go on and miss what has been lost.

Natalie believes we should be slow to Twitter, quick to think and spend more time at life.

Comments: letters@thesundaily.com.